Posts Tagged ‘immigration reform’

Who knew? Colbert now an immigration expert

September 24, 2010

Falling into the category of “so-whacky-it-can’t-possibly-be-true-but-oddly-enough-it-is,” comedian Stephen Colbert will be testifying in front of the immigration sub-committee today. A House Judiciary Committee spokeswoman, confirming Colbert would testify, said the hearing matter was a “serious issue . . . this is not a TV stunt.”

Congressman Jason Chaffetz was not impressed. “We have never, ever had a substantive discussion on any immigration issue … and they’re calling Colbert as their first guy?” the Utah Republican told Fox News. “The meeting room will be packed. Everybody will want to get their picture taken with him and an autograph and what not, but we’re not here to make Comedy Central look good. We do that all by ourselves.” Too true, too true.

So, here are some thoughts on the Colbert appearance (and many thanks to my Facebook friends for helping me out)

*The one doing most of the questioning will be the good Senator from Minnesota, Al Franken
*Colbert will leg-wrestle illegal immigrants in exchange for citizenship
*Might as well call OJ Simpson as an expert witness on murder – at least OJ would have experience with it.
*Or ask Bill Cosby to report on Earthquake Safety because of his experience with things that shake (jello)
*At least one Congressman doing the questioning needs to be dressed as a wild bear
*No one know if Colbert will answer as a concerned citizen, or in his role as a liberal masquerading as a conservative pundit
*”Mr Colbert, could you preface each of your statements with the word, “Seriously.” See, we’re not used to have comedians talk to us.”
*Could I get an autograph and a picture?
*By the way, I’m actually surprised that Congress is asking a comedian to address them. They normally don’t appreciate competition.
*”Could you ask John Stewart if he’d come by? He returned our invitation unopened.”
*”Remind us why you are here?”
*”Yes, Mr Colbert, we’ve heard the one about the opposite of ‘progress’.”
*It might be a stupid rule, but WE’LL ask the questions, if you don’t mind.
*”We don’t care if do “cut us a deal” we are not paying you your standard appearance fee, nor are we are interested in negotiating the rebroadcast rights for today’s appearance.”
*”Would you PLEASE stop pointing at the camera and saying, ‘We’ll be right back’!”
*The House doesn’t do a “Best of” DVD.
*”There is no Camera 3. Just look at us please.

And finally: “Can you PLEASE wait for your leg-wrestling rematch with Rep. Chaffetz until after this hearing?”

Immigration, immigration, immigration

August 18, 2010

Today’s interim day on the Hill was headlined by Rep Stephen Sandstrom’s Arizona-style bill.  Even though he was last on the agenda, the room was packed and into the overflow room as the meeting began.

Once Sandstrom started speaking, his presentation was similar to last week’s press conference – minus the boos and the taunting.

He said that illegal immigration does not have a race, a color, a gender or a marital status.  It’s about mutual respect between those of us already living here and those who want to come here.

“I want to make it very clear,” he said.  “Illegal is not a race.  It’s a crime.”

He said he has been in contact with 20 other states and 3 are  drafting identical legislation

He said we cannot cheapen citizenship or the legal process so many immigrants have followed to get here.  He said he has received dozens of letters from legal immigrants thanking him for running this bill.

As part of his presentation, he had Mr Arturo Morales, a legal immigrant from Mexico, testify.  Mr. Morales gave some background and talked about how hard it was to be disadvantaged when he and other small business owners are continually undercut.

“Are we supposed to be compassionate to those who have stolen our ability to buy a house? A car?,” he asked, “or our ability to run a business because our identities were stolen?”

“There are consequences for our actions.” he said and emphasized that we must stop ignoring illegal behavior.” He said that is he got pulled over every day and asked to provide proof of citizenship to protect our lifestyle, then he was OK with that.

Joe Pyrah, over at the Daily Herald profiled Mr Morales this morning. He has been called a traitor for supporting immigration reform.

After an hour-plus of presentation, with no public input, the meeting adjourned and a press conference was held out side. It was the committee meeting redux, with a couple of new speakers. In spite of Sandstrom’s insistence that it’s “not about race”, several of the people in the crowd made distinctly racist comments. That’s definitely not helpful to any attempt to have a reasonable dialogue.

Pretty sure this bill will not become law, but at least Sandstrom’s willing to start the discussion.


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