Daily Fix, April 1


WVC city mayor declares war on Taylorsville, Blackberry introduces their newest smartphone (without a screen), Kodak now sells photo-editing software that removes that not-so-loved one from your pics and videos and WestJet lightens their load by introducing helium into their cabins.

*Reeling from a recession that has drained their budgets, Utah cities are cutting services, shrinking staff and resorting to desperate measure to improve their tax bases. West Valley City Mayor Mike Winder revealed his latest strategy in a news release when he called on the City Council to issue a declaration of war on the adjacent city of Taylorsville. “Our mission: to conquer their delicious Texas Roadhouse and re-establish it in our redeveloped Valley Fair Mall,” said Winder. “The mall is becoming a major regional draw and demands a good steakhouse!” The mayor has already called out the Hunter Wolverines to attack Taylorsville’s western edge, and dispatched a platoon of Granger Lancers to invade from the north, hoping to thwart any Taylorsville Warriors in their way. Feral cats in their path have already been evacuated. Trib

*BlackBerry announced its latest business smartphone today, but with a twist: it doesn’t feature a screen. “We know our strengths — our strengths are email and our keyboard,” said RIM designer Elliot Pouce at the press launch for the company’s new mobile phone, the Dauntless. “This whole touchscreen thing is a fad. In fact, the whole screen thing is a fad.” ZDNet

*New augmented reality eyewear detects and removes ads in realtime. Just like AdBlock for Chrome and Safari, these glasses will remove those annoying billboards for your line of site. Product is still under development and beta testers are needed, but preliminary reports are quite favorable. AdBlock

*Status change? Don’t delete…Relationshiffft! Photo and video person purge helps you move on. Kodak is pleased to announce a new app that helps you take managing your relationships to a new level. We protect precious memories of the places you have been and the people you shared them with, minus the person with whom you just changed your relationship status – we call it Relationshiffft. Their unique three-pronged technology approach helps you remove a person who is no longer in your life from your photos and videos all with one touch simplicity. Kodak

*WestJet today introduced a new state-of-the-art money-saving feature on board all flights aimed at countering the rising price of jet fuel. Effective today, WestJet will be using air mixed with helium in the ventilation system to lighten the weight of the aircraft. Helium is approximately 85 per cent lighter than nitrogen, which accounts for 80 per cent of the air we breathe. With a maximum takeoff weight of more than 150,000 pounds, adding helium to the air mix will provide fuel savings of approximately three to four per cent on board WestJet’s Boeing Next-Generation 737s. This will, in turn, allow WestJet to pass the savings on to its guests. Hooray, WestJet! Munchkin voices provided free of charge. WestJet

*The mouse and keyboard were invented before the Internet even existed. Since then, countless technological advancements have allowed for much more efficient human computer interaction. Why then do we continue to use outdated technology? Introducing Gmail Motion — now you can control Gmail with your body. “No longer will people be required bend to the will of technology. Instead, technology will now bend to our will,” said Lorraine Klayman, Environmental Movement Specialist at Nevada Polytechnic College. Check it out! GMail

*Finally, if you are job hunting, have lightening-fast reflexes and love to sit in front of your computer, Google has a job for you. Google’s quality team is looking for talented, motivated, opinionated technologists to help us predict what users are looking for. If you’re eager to improve the search experience for millions of people and have a proven track record of excellence, this is a project for you! As a Google Autocompleter, you’ll be expected to successfully guess a user’s intention as he or she starts typing instantly. In a fraction of a second, you’ll need to type in your prediction that will be added to the list of suggestions given by Google. Don’t worry, after a few million predictions you’ll grow the required reflexes. Google

OK. I have to stop now and wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes…….


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4 Responses to “Daily Fix, April 1”

  1. RB Says:

    You’re a hack, want to know why? You would rather have illegal immigrants have jobs, instead of legal citizens who are willing to do the work, and I know they will work harder than the ones who are breaking the law by being here. What don’t you understand about illegal?

  2. Mark Steele Says:

    RB, seems like instead of saying April Fool, you wanted to be one. Communicating calmly and politely can accomplish SO much.

    By the way Holly, I think that Kodak product has real potential!

  3. Johnny Smith Says:

    Mayor Winder has too much time on his hands. I know it’s April Fools but Winder is the state’s second biggest publicity hound (after Carl Wimmer).

  4. Pops Says:

    …legal citizens who are willing to do the work…

    So get out there and milk the cows.

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